I’m in Luxembourg for a couple of days this week for work. I left the office at 10pm thinking I’d get an Uber to the hotel and then get some dinner at one of the nearby places recommended by coworkers. 

Here’s what I discovered:

1. The building closes and locks the lobby sometime before 10pm, so there’s no apparent way to get out except through emergency doors that are alarmed.
2. [after 10 minutes of growing concern] Those alarms?  They don’t go off when you open the doors.
3. Uber does not exist in Luxembourg. But hotels will send taxis to the rescue.
4. All restaurants are closed by 10pm. 
5. A room service hamburger here costs as much as room service cold cereal in New York. 
6. Cornichons, however delicious in every other context, are not expected on a cheese burger.