But what happens if the vampire that bites you is more “warm and cozy” than hot, and more “flannel pajama pants” than human? Seriously. Any ideas? Cuz I sure don’t know — the legends are SILENT ON THIS POINT.
Which leaves me with quite a conundrum, because I woke up this morning with what I instantly diagnosed to be a vampire bite — and the only thing other than me and the blankets in my bed last night were my pajamas. The only possible conclusion is that my pajamas are vampires and I’m about to learn the effects of their bite. So far, though, I haven’t felt the slightest thirst for blood; nor have I started sparkling in the sun. As for my teeth, they aren’t even a little bit pointier. I admit, it’s a tad disappointing. I’m starting to suspect that the hydrocortisone cream that I put on this morning is an antidote to vampire venom (in which case, you can add that to your anti-vampire emergency preparedness kit along with your crosses, garlic and wooden stakes).
Then again, what if the bite wasn’t from my vampire jammies after all, but instead from a radioactive spider? Hmm. Kind of creepy to think about having spiders in my bed, but if I get a superpower out of it, maybe I’d be okay with it just this once . . . .