So, I go to the gym tonight in the middle of the alleged snowstorm of the century, and on the way home I learn a valuable life lesson:  Snow is super bad for my eternal salvation.  I mean, here I am looking at the footprints in the snow and judging all the people who have a shuffling problem, when all of a sudden I think, “Wait a minute, how do I know that these people aren’t living in that Footprints in the Sand poem and right now they’re actually being carried by Jesus?  I am totally judging Jesus for shuffling.  I’m so going to regret this when the Rapture happens.”