The nice part about having a sister who’s an evil genius for costumes? She’s there for you when you when you need to win at Halloween.
At first I was excited when my friend Dana invited me to her annual “Epic Halloween Party”. For the first time in, like, forever I thought I would finally be able to dress up for Halloween instead of working late and going to bed early. Only then I panicked — what do I wear! Everyone at this party is going to be smart and witty and artsy, and they’ll all have the best costumes ever!
Then I called Ashley. “Ashley,” I said, “I need all your best costume ideas. It needs to be awesome and witty and easy to put together and is it too much to ask that it also make me look hot?” And in response, the woman who gave us The Mummy, the iPod person, Flo, and Cruella DeVille, called back with no fewer than 20 fantastic ideas and careful instructions for each.
My two favorites were at the top of her list:
Get a rubber chicken, an electrical cord and a blue shirt. Tie it all together and, voila, “Chicken Cordon Bleu”!
Put on a stereotypically French outfit — nautical stripes, beret, scarf — and then paint your face like Gene Simmons. You’re a “French Kiss”!
I picked the Chicken Cordon Bleu costume because it was the easiest to pull together. But I regretted passing on the French Kiss — it’s such a great idea — until my friend Brad told me he didn’t have a costume and would be going to the party in plainclothes. I peer pressured him into trying the French Kiss costume (“Please, you’ll be the most popular person at the party.” “But I don’t want to be popular.” “That’s ridiculous, of course you do.”) I lent him my nautical stripes and he found the rest.
We were both a huge hit at the party. Everyone loved the costumes, and it was a great way to talk to people — either they would start cracking up from across the room as they figured out the pun, or they’d come up and ask, and I’d walk them through the elements: Chicken. Cord. On blue.
Not just anyone can wear a rubber chicken!